Rewriting The Stars

I forgot what it was like to be me. I've spent so much of my time trying to be what everyone else wanted, that I lost who I really was. I want to remember the thrill of dancing on the roof and in the rain. I want to remember my camera always pointed, capturing the beauty of memories. I want to remember the elegant, truthful words that use to roll off my tongue and through my pen. I want to remember what love felt like, people loving me and me loving others. I want to remember true friends I could talk to without judgment. I want to remember family under the saying Ohana.  I want to remember the real me. No, I don't just want to remember it all,  I want to experience it all again.

Everyone tries to fix me.  They all think they're the one who can accomplish  this impossible task. Talking about feelings,  learning to trust,  gaining friends,  kissing,  hugging,  fucking.  None of it fixed me.  I always went home afterward,  took off my makeup, looked in the mirror,  and my broken reflection stared back at me. I'm still broken, despite everyone's efforts.  Will I ever be okay again?