Rewriting The Stars

I still care even though you don't Apologies won't amend the pain or ease the guilt. I still care though I shouldn't I still care even though you've moved on. I still care though I supposedly moved on. I still care even though you want to hate me. I still care though you've hurt me tremendously, as I've hurt you. I still want you. I still miss you. I still love you. I still care about you...

How the kill yourself internally: Reread old messages between you and someone you used to be close to when now you are strangers.

His arms wrap around a girl's waist.  They smile brightly at each other.  He bends down and presses his dark, full lips  to her pale ones.  Happiness exudes from them as they embrace. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wake up in a cold sweat.  The same dream, days in a row.  I can't get him out of my head, I miss him so much.  I roll over into the arms of a guy I vaguely know.  He's still sleeping, his bare chest peeking out from the sheets. I get up quietly and grab my clothes. I dress and walk out into the cold wind.  The sweat on my skin from tonight's activities,  chilling me even more so with the wind.  The moon is out and full.  I think about him and if he's asleep with the girl he loves.  I hope he is.  At least, then, he's happy.  One of us deserves to be,  even if it's not me.

Our sweaty palms hold each others tightly, while my converse stick to the soda and butter-covered floor. I think I can hear your heart racing, I wonder if you can hear mine racing in my chest. My mind races and my heart picks up speed when you glance at me. Though an action film plays in front of us, I can't keep my eyes off of you and the way your eyes look as they'd dart around the screen, absorbing every detail. You glance at me every once in a while, as if checking to make sure I was still there. A small smile colors your face when I'm still there. We both reach into the popcorn bucket at the same time, our fingers brushing causing our simultaneous blushes and burst of giggles at the cliche, as we're shushed by the lady behind us. Every date feels like the first with you.

Nobody is ever better off without their mother or father. Nobody is ever better off without their family, whether or not it's biological.

I always thought my heart would be mended with a tight enough hug from a guy who holds my heart. I've hugged every guy who has even touched my heart, hugged them so tightly I may have broken a bone or two of theirs. But my heart is still broken. They can't fix me...

I've made mistakes, hell I'm still making them. I just pray that you'll forgive me. 

Promises were broken and love was lost. I was scared of love and you loved with all you had. I ran as fast as I could and you waited for me.  I came back and now it's your turn to be scared of me.